Trust, Disappointment, Love… Emotions

Tags

disappointment, dishonesty, distrust, emotions, family, forgiveness, friends, hurt, love, secrets, trust

I’ve been thinking about emotions lately. Mainly the ones that get my blood boiling.

In the last week 3 people have told me that they’re in love (obviously with different people). I’m not sure what about my face screams TELL ME YOU’RE IN LOVE. When I was 18 I got all gushy about love stories, now almost 6 years on, I get all gushy over a cute animal, I wretch at love stories. Yes most would say I’m slightly jealous, I would say when was slightly an option.

 The greatest thing you’ll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return. –  Moulin Rouge

Now if this is true, I have loved, I have not been loved. And before any of my friends pipe up I mean the other kind of love. My mum’s reaction to my being an agony aunt was, “why are they all falling in love? When will someone fall in love with you?”. My question exactly. Perhaps I’m unlovable. I don’t mean that in a self-loathing pathetic sense but as a query. Maybe I am fundamentally romantically unlovable. Lust is a different matter entirely. Are there us few people who are just doomed to walking this world alone. Never knowing, never sharing, never having. Maybe.

So moving on from that delightful topic… Trust. Some of us seem to trust so easily. I know I go through phases. I get hurt by someone I trust it then takes me a while to trust someone again but when I do, when I’m in that almost grey area of trusting I seem to be able to trust everyone. Why is this? I personally think I trust too easily, so from now on, people have to earn it. I’m a closed book with a lot of bravado. God I sound like a right knob. Ah well saves me getting hurt.

Almost joint hand in hand with trust is disappointment. Disappointment in others, in yourself, in situations. I have hand of heart been thoroughly disappointed by everyone in my life. I’m disappointed with my mum, when she has that extra glass of wine. I was disappointed with both my parents when they revealed to me that they didn’t think I was clever enough to do University. I mention these two as they’re will most likely never read this. As with others in my life the disappointment I’ve had revolves around having trusted them with something; a secret, my feelings, experiences etc etc and then that something is used against me or it’s tossed aside like it doesn’t matter.

I joined my current job with the promise of being trained in sales and marketing. To this present date 5th March 2013 I am still waiting. I’ve brought it up on appraisals, voiced how I would like to proceed but instead of investing in me I’m left to do the day to day running. Why make a promise or a false hope without seeing it through.

They say what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger, then each and every person should be as strong as a mountain. We all suffer this and yet a lot of the time we forgive. We have that unconditional forgiveness for some and yet not for others. The older I get the harder I find it is to forgive and I can never forget.

So how can we forgive if we can’t forget? (Sex and the City reference there)

Inside Death Row With Trevor McDonald

Tags

Capital Punishment, convicts, Death Penalty, Indiana State Prison, Inside Death Row, ITV, Law, Prison, Trevor McDonald, USA law

So me and the parents have this habit of recording a whole lot of programmes and taking ages to actually watch them. This was the latest one, but actually beating records we’re only a few weeks behind the rest of the world. Now I’m one of those weird folk who love the criminal mind. That old saying; “we fear what we don’t understand” yes that’s true, but in this case I’m drawn to what I don’t understand, so every chance I get I watch something like this for more insight.

http://www.itv.com/presscentre/press-releases/inside-death-row-trevor-mcdonald-trailer

This programme was broadcast at the end of January and follows Sir Trevor McDonald as he explores the life of some of America’s notorious killers, so horrendous that 12 of them have ended up on Death Row in Indiana State Prison.

As far as I can remember we see him talk to 4 death row prisoners. 1 – we never find out his crime, 2 – killed a policeman, 3 – killed his wife and 2 daughters, 4 – killed a 24 year old woman and her 4 year old daughter. It’s interesting as apart from number 2 they all have come to terms with their fate and even agree with it. At one point in time they will be issued with the time and date where they will be strapped to a chair and the prison warden will take their life by lethal injection. Number 4 (Baer) is actually believed to be the most heinous, actually disgusting the other inmates. Throughout the 2 part series you hear from all four of these men, still living their lives; squabbles etc, all the while knowing as each day passes, each appeal is rejected (there are 15 steps in all) they come closer and closer to the needle.

Housing 1900 inmates, 12 of whom are on death row, Trevor spends two weeks in the dark and forbidding world of Indiana State Maximum Security Prison. He hears from men who know what it is like to live under the shadow of the death penalty and even the date and time they will die. – itv.com

It’s a horrendous idea, I think, for any of us to contemplate. Any of us who are of sound mind and especially when we live in a anti capital punishment country. The most human thing, the most natural, the one worldy truth that we cannot escape is that one day we will die. The most unnatural thing about this truth… Is to know exactly when, where and how. I find the whole concept of knowing how much time you have left if you’re suffering from a terminal disease hard to deal with, let alone pinpointing it.

There are a couple of real shockers when meeting the men of death row…

• One admits he is not rehabilitated. That if he was out in the world and things didn’t go his way he wouldn’t think twice about getting a gun and making things go his way.
• They can spend up to 20 years on death row. Confined to their cells 23 hours a day and segregated from the rest of the prison.
• One is allowed to go see the nurse and get an insulin shot as he is diabetic. In red overalls he has “DEATH ROW” written on his back. How odd that a needle is currently saving his life when one day it will take it. Also how do the nurses deal with the concept of meeting a man they know one day, governed by the State they live in, will be executed.
• Some are allowed cats. Indiana Prison works a pet programme. Giving the 23 hours they’re in their cells some meaning.
• It is often hard to see why they’re on death row. The sentences in Indiana seem to (obviously) be much harsher than in the UK. For shooting a policeman who is currently chasing you equates to death row whereas in the UK you’d probably get off with 15 years.
• They are haunted by what they have done, and quite rightly so, Baer has the birthdays of his two victims on his calendar. They’re dead, a little girl at the beginning of her life is dead, while he gets to live until a rather painless procedure is carried out.
• The warden makes weekly trips to death row to ‘catch up’ with the prisoners, the people, that one day, he, under the law of the State, is going to take their lives.
• For the night before their execution, they are taken to a new cell, only a bed and a TV, and left to count the minutes. Why get one last kick in? Can they not be left in their own cells, to enjoy their own comforts for the last few hours of their lives. Surely they’re being executed because they’re the bad guys and we’re the good guys. Then where is the compassion?

Sir Trevor also gets to meet some of the wider prison population including those deemed the most dangerous men there, strangely enough not on death row. These men are also contained 23 hours a day and when given their 1 hour of outside, are in steel cages. One man he meets committed his crime at the tender age of 13 and convicted to 170 years at 15 years old. It was a double homicide that took away the rest of his life. He is not eligible for parole until he turns 100 years old. It is mind-boggling how a 15 year old boy is to come to terms with the fact that prison is and will be the rest of his life. Now I’m not condoning his crime, but 170 years? That’s 85 years per life. A gentleman in this country was jailed for 6 years for the manslaughter of 6 people, a mere 1 year per life. Surely there must be some middle ground. This inmate has now been confined for over half his life and more than likely could never adjust to a normal life so escaped into books. He’s also got a wonderful saying written on his wall;

No man is your enemy
No man is your friend
EVERY man is your teacher

The most normal thing in the prison is the barber shop. It is run by the most trusted convicts there and even is a service for the prison guards. One of the barbers is serving 3 life sentences plus more, he will never be released, and yet is trusted with a pair of shears. Am I wrong in thinking whilst holding a potentially deadly instrument at some point his mentality must have been “what have I got to lose?”.

One man Sir Trevor meets is actually a convict who has escaped death row and is now living in what can only be called a dorm. It’s about a sports hall size with waist height wall dividers and around 100 beds holding 100 prisoners. His original trial was compromised so he was offered 150 years rather than the death sentence and he took it. At 62 years old he knows that it is still his death sentence and yet seems content with the freedom of dying naturally at an unforeseen date and time.

Anyone who knows or heard anything about UK law will immediately see a startling difference on sentencing. I can’t quite get this show out of my mind. It offered an amazing insight into one of America’s oldest and most notorious prisons and it’s inmates. The 2 things that will stick with me is that; 1 – the notion that every week 2 men come to face each other, knowing that their stories are entwined and at the ending, one will play the executioner. 2 – How similar your crime can be (from what we’re told on the show) to another prisoners and something in the detail has left you with 100 years in prison, and them facing the death penalty. I would love to know what the detail is that sets them apart. It is definitely a show to watch. The feeling it has left me with will undoubtedly stay with me for a very long time.

Obligatory Dating

Tags

Dates, dating, Dinner., Gooseberry, New Years Eve, Prom, Valentine’s Day, Weddings

It’s a universal acceptance that for certain times in our life a date is needed and more often than not preferred, for example; The School Prom, Weddings, Valentine’s Day, New Years Eve… etc etc but since when did a meal out with friends join the list?

I had arranged with a group of close friends to go out for an Indian, hardly a romantic idea. It was meant to be a kind of celebratory occasion as I am now finishing my training, which is a big thing. My best friend’s fiance has just moved down so I asked if he would like to join us. I like him, and I like him and her together. They are one of the few couples who don’t leave me reaching for the sick bucket, but still a couple. Sweet little things they do just manage to kick you in the gut. The other four joining… 2 were actually just friends but sat next to each other and basically have their own secret language, making another couple. Last but not least was a close friend on hearing I had invited the other’s fiance asked if her fella could come. It worked out at 2 couples opposite me and 1 next to me and me sat next to an empty chair.

If I had known the rules on dining out I’m sure I could have manufactured a date from somewhere, and as much as I know my friends were aware of this and tried to cover it up, there is just no feeling like it than looking to your right and seeing that vacant space.

I shall be more prepared next time. I’m in that era of my life with these friends that they’ve all got a “plus 1”, and if by the time my friend’s wedding comes along and I’m still absent a plus 1 there will always, undoubtedly be plus 1 more slice of cake. So just a warning, go armed with a date or cake.

Salmon Fishing in the Yemen

Tags

Bad film, Emily Blunt, Ewan McGregor, Phil Torday, Salmon Fishing in the Yemen, writing

2 out of 10… Big disappointment

Right I’ve been feeling the January blues this year so thought I would watch a comedy. A colleague had lent me this film and it does state on the front cover “The British Comedy of the Year – Woman & Home Magazine”. I tell you, I didn’t laugh once. Don’t get me wrong it’s a feel good film because it has a happy ending but it most certainly isn’t a comedy.

How anyone can give it those references?

Now I am such a fan of both Emily Blunt and Ewan McGregor but I can’t see why they were happy to do this film. They are both such talented actors and the writing in this film just didn’t do them credit.

Okay so it’s not exactly a very exciting story, Blunt is employed by a rich guy adamant at being able to fish salmon in the Yemen. She has just started dating a soldier when 3 weeks into the relationship he is called out to Afghanistan. Meanwhile she seeks out the fish expertise of McGregor who is a fish enthusiast for a magazine and is stuck in a mundane and routine driven life and marriage (see where it’s going yet?). After a little bit of persuasion McGregor agrees to help Blunt in capturing the fish and transporting them to a successful release into the Yemen. In this time Blunt’s 3 week boyfriend is lost in action, leaving her devastated, but all is well at the end as he is found. He comes to try to be with her by which point McGregor has left his wife as it is clear that both him and Blunt are in love with each other. Although the Salmon release is sabotaged and basically ruined Blunt and McGregor live happily ever after and aim to have another go at the project.

Hardly anything jaw dropping there. There are some unnecessary scenes with a P.A. and the prime minister involving MSN or Skype, all a bit bla bla. As is the random attack on the rich boss’s (I think he’s a prince) life but is fooled when armed with his fishing rod McGregor stops him. The devastation Blunt feels with her 3 week old relationship is also unbelievable. Basically if the actual foundations of this film were changed to make it more plausible and real it would be 100 times better but probably still not worth a watch. I know it’s adapted from the book by Phil Torday and all I can say is, if the book is anything like the film then there is no need to count sheep for insomnia anymore.

The characters themselves are just poor, Blunt’s character is this beautiful, smart, savvy city lady who suddenly has this interest in fish and McGregor’s character is this stereotypical nature geek who lives by routine. Neither actor had a lot to work with and they tried their best but you’re only as good as the writing leaving many awkward scenes where it was so uncomfortable.

Please do not waste your time on this film. If this is the way comedies are heading I would rather watch a tragedy any day.

R.E.J.E.C.T.I.O.N Friend or Foe?

Tags

feeling, gut wrenching, interviews, jobs, let down, no, picked last, realtionships, rejection

Well as one tends to do, I’ve been thinking. I was discussing something with a friend of mine… that something happened to be who should make the first move, man or woman? Historically it’s always been the man who has pursued his lady but since the vote, more equality, etc etc why is it still the man who is stereotypically making the first move? My answer was two fold…

One: Women still like to be chased. We want to be desirable and yet unattainable unless you woo us.

Two: Fear of rejection by a man if we chase them.

It’s this second answer we started exploring. Because although fear of rejection may seem like a weakness and in effect a very female quality, my friend (let’s call him Bob), told me that he too has this fear. This being the reason why he never feels comfortable asking a girl out or going past the talking stage. He doesn’t want to appear pervy or to advance with any unwanted attention. When you connect this with women still wanting men to make the first move, we’re kind of a doomed race. Luckily Bob took the chance, after a deadlock dare, and it paid off, he’s got a date.

I don’t think this fear of rejection just lies with romantic endeavours, take job interviews for example. What is it we’re really afraid when we go for one? Is it that we’ll be grilled over our experience, or is it the possibility that they may say that 2 letter word to us…. NO. It’s such a small word and can create such a drastic feeling. I personally hate interviews, the fear of being rejected doesn’t just evoke that feeling of unworthiness but also coincides with professional desire and financial strife.

Rejection, though–it could make the loss of someone you weren’t even that crazy about feel gut wrenching and world ending.

― Deb Caletti, The Secret Life of Prince Charming

While writing this I’m wondering where it has come from. I mean maybe it’s from our very basic mammal instincts where we’re afraid of being rejected my our mothers and have to fend for ourselves. Just a theory, most likely wrong but I thought it was a possible spin.

I think relationships and interviews are the most common forms of rejection. Now in both aspects I have been rejected more times than I like to count but just for fun… Interviews rejected from = 7. Men rejected from = Too many. In all seriousness though I’m not talking about a letter in the post saying they won’t take your application any further. Instead I mean when you’re given false hope, so when you’ve got an interviewer, or things seem to be going well with a new beau. It is then, when your guard is down when they either do the whole “thanks for coming in however…” or in my experience, another girl gets in the way. It’s not enough to be rejected but you’re being picked last. Like the quote above says, you don’t even need to be that crazy about the person or job but still it can cut you deeper than you know when you are rejected.

Life is like gym class and you’re always being picked last

It is the cruelest blow to your self-esteem and can leave you feeling wounded beyond belief. It is hard to recover from and yet eventually we do, we pick ourselves up, dust off our nicest suit and go back out there. How? Why? How do we rebuild, through other loved ones I guess and our own gumption. But why do we do it to ourselves? Why do we strive for that better job, just for the chance of rejection.

There is also the idea that whatever doesn’t kill us makes us stronger. With each job interview we gain the confidence to sell ourselves more at the next one, or tweak our C.V. to show the best of us off. Also with each heart break we toughen up, become harder to break. This has turned into negativity for me. Whenever someone shows a bit of interest the red flag goes up straight away and I think they’re going to hurt me. My own defensive mechanism but is also my downfall, I don’t trust easy and therefore don’t always jump in with both feet. Friend or Foe?

This post kind of has no conclusion or point, I just thought it was a thought-provoking topic. Surely if we’re aware of this fear and confront it head on each time, least we should be able to be a little more prepared the next time. Or that’s what I’m hoping anyway.

Stuff

Tags

2013, bad decisions, carrie, challenges, chick flicks, choices, everything happens, friendship, Happiness, job, life, loneliness, luck, miranda, moving out, new year, selfishness, Sex and the city, siblings, sisters

So this eloquently named post is about what it says, stuff. I guess a new year makes you think about things. For instance, I really need to move out of home this year. I’m going to be 25 next year and I cannot, I will not be 25 and living with my parents. That doesn’t mean to come across as ungrateful. I love my parents and am extremely thankful for all they have and continue to do for me but jeez I need to move out. The promise of being able to cook for myself oh it is a lovely one. My parents are averaging at 3 holidays a year which is perfect for me, gives me 3 x 2 weeks of doing what I want, when I want and with whomever I want. Again that makes my dear old Mum and Dad sound like Ogres when they’re really not. If anyone is in the same situation as me then they will completely understand where I’m coming from.

I also need a new job. I’m currently working for a small company as well as training to be something I’ve wanted to be since I was little, (we’ve been advised not to disclose what it is). It’s only a volunteer role but will hopefully progress into a full time paid position. However, there is the mean time. I have my sister who is rather proudly earning over £13k more than me. Talk about sibling rivalry but I would like to at least challenge her a little. So new job in 2013. Also a new car would be nice.

But that’s just life stuff. Things that can change and hopefully will if I pull my finger out and get applying.

I think a new year can also make you reflect on the past. I’ve made some pretty poor choices in my 23 years and I am determined not to do that anymore. Or if I do make sure my head is held up highly and do it with all my heart.

I’ve been watching a few chick flicks recently, if my last two posts don’t give that away, and have been finding solace. My most recent flick is Sex and the City. Which reminded me of the series, now I don’t believe the film is good enough for a post on it’s own but definitely incorporated into one. So in the last few episodes of the series Carrie is about to move to Paris with someone and Miranda has a few problems with this;

Carrie: Why can’t you be happy for me?
Miranda: I’m sorry but… I don’t understand why you have to move away and give up your life.
Carrie: You moved to Brooklyn.
Miranda: That’s just Brooklyn.
Carrie: I cannot stay in New York and be single for you.
Miranda: What?
Carrie: This is about you. As long as I’m here, in the same place, writing my column then nothing has really changed.
Miranda: No, This is about you.
Carrie: No, you moved on, Charlotte’s moved on. Even Samantha’s moved on. I can stay here and write about my life or I can go with him and live my life.

Now I think this is a really interesting topic. Many of us are afraid of change, but what if it’s the changes around us that scare us more. For example, my Mum doesn’t want me to move away because she’s used to me around now. Or I didn’t want a friend to get married. I said it was because I didn’t like the guy (which I don’t) but what if it was because I was afraid I’d lose her. I think it’s fascinating to think for these moments in time we can put our loved ones happiness to one side and be completely selfish and terrified but dress it up as caring and worrying. Now back to the Sex and the City film, there’s a moment when Miranda is on her own for New Years Eve so Carrie late at night very quickly gets across town to be with her. I love this scene, not going to lie I also cry at it, though it does get you thinking, have you got someone who would do this for you? I’m not quite sure I have.

So that’s what Sex and the City has got me thinking about this week. Another quote I saw recently was this one…

Never be sorry about anyone in your life, good people give u happiness, bad people give u experience, worst people give u lessons & best people give u memories.

I thought this was a very lovely way of saying, everything happens for a reason. It’s true though for every time life knocks us down we get back up and learn from it. It’s the way of life. Unfortunately there are some people who it knocks harder than others and who struggle to get back.

I had a bit of drama today, my exhaust fell off my car. I was terrified. I don’t feel adult enough to take responsibility for my car and at the first sign of anything going wrong I’m like “Dadddddddy… HELP”. Luckily the garage fixed it in no time flat but I’m due to be training this weekend so was worrying how I would get there. That was when a friend from training actually offered to drive what must be 2 hours out of his way to come and get me. It’s people like that which really do make you smile and think I am lucky.

I think I may leave it there without repeating myself or blabbering on too much. I don’t know about the rest of you, if anyone even reads my poorly written and incredible dull yet amazingly therapeutic posts, but I’ve had a bit of a shitty start to 2013. The only way is up yes?

Life if what you make it. So make the most of it and stop blaming other people. It’s human nature to try to lay the blame somewhere and stings like a bitch when really the blame lies with ourselves.

Bridget Jones’s Diary – A hug in a film

Tags

Bridget Jones, Bridget Jones's Diary, Chick flick, Colin Firth, Daniel Cleaver, Heartbreak, Hugh Grant, Mark Darcy, Renee Zellwegger, vodka, wine

10 out of 10 – Gives hope to us all

So at this time of year, during and after the festive season I personally feel incredibly lonely. The concept of not having that special person who wants to be with you Christmas Day, or that magical kiss as the clock strikes 12 on December 31st. Well… this year, or should that be last year, was no different. Although I had friends around me and family who loves me, I guess there is just that one thing missing, and when you’re surrounded by people who have found that remarkable love the feeling of loneliness is only amplified. Now I know I must come across as some love lust, man crazy wench which is ridiculous as out of my 23 years on this planet, I’ve been single for 22 years 11 months of it. Like I said, it’s the time of year. Christmas season and weddings are the most depressing times which is why on those occasions you need to re-aqquaint yourself with some single female solidarity. In other words…

Bridget Jones

I’m not sure if there’s a girl I know who can’t say they relate to our poor Bridget (Renée Zellweger) in some way or another. It’s a simple story of unlucky in love Bridget who falls for her Boss, Daniel Cleaver (Hugh Grant). They embark on a steamy relationship only to leave Bridget broken hearted when he cheats on her. In the process of getting over him, someone who couldn’t be more different, Mark Darcy (Colin Firth) declares his attraction to our protagonist. This results in Bridget confused between Darcy and the grovelling, realised what he’s missing and only wants sex Cleaver. In the end girls gets guy, or should that be guy gets girl. Either way the film ends with Bridget and Darcy rather passionately kissing in the middle of London with Bridget only wearing a strap top, undies, and a cardigan. She’s a classy bird our Bridge.

As I said it’s a simple love story, but with a twist, it’s modern. It’s a modern-day girl, who wants a career, smokes, drinks, sex before marriage and is in no way perfect. In other words she’s representing the female population. Now I can only speak for myself but I’m sure plenty of other girls out there would agree, we’ve all had our fair share of Cleaver’s. Okay I’m lucky and none of them have gone as far as to cheat on me, they usually hurt me well and truly before it can get to that stage. All we can hope is that one day, one day we will find our very own Mark Darcy at the right time, right place and have our own happy ever after.

But like Bridget, in the meantime I choose vodka. I’m only joking but there is a couple of parts in the film where one she gets stinking drunk on wine and is singing along to “I can’t live if living is without you”, well we’ve all been there, I know I certainly have. The second time she decides to buck up her ideas and get hammered on vodka. Yup been there too. This is one of the reasons this film is great, she does all the hard graft so you can go through the motions with her but without the hangover the next day.

I have two choices: to give up and accept permanent state of spinsterhood and eventually eaten by Alsatians, or not. And this time I choose not. I will not be defeated by a bad man and an American stick insect! Instead, I choose vodka. And Chaka Khan.

It’s funny how nearly every time you’re dumped or thrown aside for another girl you can’t help but look at the weight issue. I’m 50/50 when hurt, I either delve into the fridge and anything edible that I can find or I go like a bat out of hell on the exercise. So if you see me and I’ve changed weight it’s because I’ve just had my heart trampled on. Of course it wouldn’t be good without a little revenge and while the tune “RESPECT” by Aretha Franklin is playin,g Bridget manages to pull one of the best lines out of the hat when Daniel Cleaver is trying to stop her from leaving her job;

But if staying here means working within 10 yards of you, frankly, I’d rather have a job wiping Saddam Hussein’s arse.

Don’t you just wish you had either the bottle or the quick wit to say something like this to that scum of the Earth who broke your heart. I know I do, and several other people as well if I’m honest. It wouldn’t be a proper single girl chick flick if she didn’t have her support team of 3 close mates, Shazza, Jude and Tom. Everyone has got their versions of these 3, very similar to the Sex and the City girls, the friends who are there to pick you up and try their darndest to take your mind off heartbreak but who are also cheerleading from the sidelines when you do find that special someone. They can sometimes be a little tricky to find but they are there.

Okay enough of the bullshit, I couldn’t finish this post about one of my favourite films without mentioning one of my favourite scenes. It is now iconic to Bridget Jones and will hopefully repeat itself if they ever do a 3rd film… I’m talking about… of course… The girly man fight. No words to describe, it is just so apt for Grant and Firth who aren’t exactly butch. Enjoy…

The Holiday

Tags

Cameron Diaz, Christmas, Corny, Jack Black, Jude Law, Kate Winslet, Lonely, love, The Holiday, Unrequited

9 out of 10 – only bug bear is that there isn’t always a happy ending

In light of the festive season I feel the need to do a little blog on one of my favourite seasonal films. I completely sucked this year and didn’t get around to watching this film until last night, but saying that it was lovely as me, mum and dad all got to sit down and watch it together. For those who have seen this will understand that there wasn’t a dry eye in the house. However for the few who have escaped the phenomenon that is The Holiday it is about 2 women, Kate Winslet and Cameron Diaz. One from Surrey (Winslet) the other from L.A. (Diaz). They have both suffered heartbreak and feel the need to escape for the Christmas season so house swap. In turn they then meet rather lovely men… Winslet meets Jack Black and Diaz meets Jude Law (Winslet’s brother). A romance develops and like every christmas film there is a happy ever after.

That’s the bare basics of the film. The heart of it, I think, is that all girls can relate to it. We’ve all felt deeply lonely, especially at Christmas which in my opinion (as well as weddings) is the most depressing time of year. It is where we feel our most lonely, depressed and down. Coincide it with the amount of food and alcohol we intake it’s not surprising the our self-esteem is usually at an all time low. Why do you think there are so many hook ups at office parties? Which weirdly enough is where this story really begins. Before I start I need to stress how well this film in written by Nancy Meyers, baring some quotes which are really brutally truthful. My favourite quote of the film is right at the beginning when Winslet is describing love and how she’s been in love with an ex for 3 years who then announces his engagement to another.

“I’ve found almost everything ever written about love to be true. Shakespeare said “Journeys end in lovers meeting.” What an extraordinary thought. Personally, I have not experienced anything remotely close to that, but I am more than willing to believe Shakespeare had. I suppose I think about love more than anyone really should. I am constantly amazed by its sheer power to alter and define our lives. It was Shakespeare who also said “love is blind”. Now that is something I know to be true. For some quite inexplicably, love fades; for others love is simply lost. But then of course love can also be found, even if just for the night. And then, there’s another kind of love: the cruelest kind. The one that almost kills its victims. Its called unrequited love. Of that I am an expert. Most love stories are about people who fall in love with each other. But what about the rest of us? What about our stories, those of us who fall in love alone? We are the victims of the one sided affair. We are the cursed of the loved ones. We are the unloved ones, the walking wounded. The handicapped without the advantage of a great parking space! Yes, you are looking at one such individual. And I have willingly loved that man for over three miserable years! The absolute worst years of my life! The worst Christmas’, the worst Birthday’s, New Years Eve’s brought in by tears and valium. These years that I have been in love have been the darkest days of my life. All because I’ve been cursed by being in love with a man who does not and will not love me back.”

This could not be more true. I count what I once felt as love but am not sure but one thing I am sure of is, is that it was unrequited. And it hurt like a bitch. People usually think how great it must be to be single. Free, independent, etc etc, but many singletons out there are as describe… The walking wounded. Now this man Winslet is describing is like many guys I have met. They know exactly how to reel you in, you let your guard down, and then they drop you. Not quite hard enough though for you to be over them, to have closure, oh no they like to keep you on a line, tease you and basically be an absolute knob head. Now this isn’t against all men, I haven’t turned into a bra burner and all that jazz. For instance one of the most endearing parts of the film is that the 2 male leads Black and Law have both experienced heartbreak. Black gets cheated on in the film and you see his hurt and Law is a widower left with 2 children. It is just reassuring to know that guys do fall as hard as girls do and are then in turn hurt just the same.

Now although Winslet is by far the most articulate in the film, Diaz has her own stinkers of lines!

“I know myself. I’m not sure I even fall in love. Not like the way other people do. How’s that for something to admit?”

I consider myself in this bracket. Everyone around me seems to be able to fall in love. Well me, since being a bit trampled on a few years ago I find it hard to even think of the idea of love. It’s like an alien concept to me. The idea of needing, wanting, thinking of someone that much, to me just seems exhausting. Wow could I sound more like a hermit.

There’s also a point where Diaz confronts Law for him not telling her about his 2 daughters. Stating that he was the one who wanted to get to know each other. Why is it that guys especially say one thing and do the complete opposite just because it suits them. One personal example that comes to mind is a guy who was very will we won’t we told me how much he liked honesty and then went on about how much he liked me. The next morning I got a MSN message, MSN for christ sake, saying he had got back with his ex the previous morning, before telling me all this honesty bla bla bla. Hypocrisy is not an attractive quality.

As I said about this film me, my mum and MY DAD were watching this. This can be a family film. I think maybe not for the young “I’m too cool for emotions” guy but the more sensitive, or I guess family guys it is a winner.

I can’t finish this post without a couple more quotes, the writing is really what makes this film;

“- Iris, in the movies we have leading ladies and we have the best friend. You, I can tell, are a leading lady, but for some reason you are behaving like the best friend.
- You’re so right. You’re supposed to be the leading lady of your own life, for god’s sake! Arthur, I’ve been going to a therapist for three years, and she’s never explained anything to me that well. That was brilliant. Brutal, but brilliant.”

and

“I like corny. I’m looking for corny in my life.”

It definitely gives people something to think about.

Own your life.

The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey

Tags

Bali, Bifur, Bilbo Baggins, Bombur, Dori, Dwalin, Dwarves, Fili, Gandalf, Gloin, Hobbit, Ian Mckellen, James Nesbit, Kili, Martin Freeman, Middle Earth, Nori, Oin, Ori, Peter Jackson, Richard Armitage, The Hobbit, The Lord of the Rings, Thorin

10 out of 10. The film of 2012

I’ve literally slapped myself for having seen this film twice but having written anything about it.

The Company

Well it’s fair to say I love this film. I haven’t read the book but have seen the size of it and was very concerned at how they could stretch this rather thin book across 3 feature films. Well if the first film in this trilogy is anything to go by then there will be no problem. It was action packed and the 3 hours of film just flew by.

Boasting an incredible cast it is basically impossible not to like every single character. Some old favourites from The Lord of the Rings appeared (in their younger state of course) including, Ian McKellen (Gandalf), Christopher Lee (Saruman), Cate Blanchett (Galadriel), Hugo Weaving (Elrond) and of course Andy Serkis the master of his role as Gollum. A nice addition was Ian Holm back as Bilbo Baggins for the beginning of the story with the big surprise was the snippet of Elijah Wood back as Frodo. Although his hair seemed slightly longer than it was in Lord of the Rings which is where they collide.

But back to the main cast of the film… the two big stars of it, who haven’t appeared before, are Martin Freeman as the young Bilbo Baggins and Richard Armitage as the revenge driven Dwarf prince Thorin Oakenshield.

I truly believe it’s hard to describe this film to someone who hasn’t watched it. The basis is that the Dwarves home was ravaged and stolen from them by the Dragon Smaug. They are now adamant to reclaim their homeland and to do that they need to travel across Middle Earth to the Lonely Mountain defeating foes like Orcs and Trolls. They need someone to sneak by the Dragon which is where Bilbo comes in as the Dragon is unfamiliar with the smell. Along the way they meet the Elves and seek counsel, The Wizard Radagast the Brown who informs them of a growing danger (including great big bloody spiders)… He also has a bunny drawn sleigh! Sylvester McCoy definitely owns this role. They also meet some Goblins and Azog, a beasty Orc who killed Thorin’s father and grandfather and is now set on destroying the line of Durin by killing Thorin.

I’m a big fan of Thorin… he makes a lovely dwarf and must be pretty close to my height but the other dwarfs to be aware of are; Balin (remember him in LOTR TFOTR?… hint Moria), Dwalin, Bifur, Bombur, Fili, Kili, Oin, Gloin (Gimli son of… The resemblance is uncanny), Nori, Dori and Ori.

All I want to say is give this film a go. Don’t be set against it if you didn’t enjoy The Lord of the Rings. This film is lighter, more comical but still has the old favourites like the Eagles.

WATCH IT!

Recent News

Tags

baby royal, bbc, benefits, cars, charity, cyclists, depression, economy, euro millions, george osborne, jobs, vehicles, war on our roads, william and kate

So I’m a BBC news girl. I actually can’t stand ITV I find it a little too ‘chat show’ like which is a bit much for 7o’clock in the morning when I tend to get my updates. But recently somethings in the news has begun to make my blood boil.

Euro Millions Loser – Where should the money go?
So this recent Lottery euro millions misfortune that someone out there was holding a ticket worth around £64 million and has now lost out on the chance to claim it. How gutted would you be if you find it now. This story in itself doesn’t bother me. I’m jealous of the idea of holding that ticket but having never been to the Stevenage or Hitchin area and also having never bought a lottery ticket I think I can safely say I am not in with a chance. But what did irritate me was when they were interviewing people around that area some guy said something along the lines on “I hope it only goes to charities in this area and not back to the rest of the country”. Nice huh? After all it is the season for selfishness and not giving right? I just thought it was morally wrong for anyone to wish that. For me I would say the important thing be that it remains in this country not in that area where someone might have been just driving through. Ooooh it got me going.

ROYAL BABY
The next thing that has bugged me has been the fantastic news that William and Kate are expecting their first child. What wonderful news and who couldn’t wish it for a nicer couple. Baring in mind that this baby will one day be the monarch of this country there are some twats out there complaining over the coverage. I’m sorry but for once to have some good news in the news is lovely to wake up to. From what I’ve read and seen this hyperemesis gravidarum is pretty nasty and does need hospital treatm

ent so why wouldn’t you admit the woman carrying the future heir to the throng to hospital. What makes me laugh even more is a lot of the people I know who have been complaining about her being in hospital or the amount of coverage have bombarded everyone with everything about their own baby’s every movement. Pot calling kettle. On this matter I just want to say one thing, congratulations to William and Kate…ignore the dick heads.

Kate left hospital this morning

Cyclists vs Vehicles
I’m realising that this is going to be a rather long post, whoops. So me and dad watched this programme last night War on Britain’s Roads. It follows the concept of 34 million vehicles and 13 million bikes all trying to share the same space on the roads. It was really interesting as a car driver to see it from a cyclists point of view, however there was one arrogant cyclist on there who truly believed he was the bee’s knees of cyclists. I can hand on heart say I’ve learnt something from this, that it’s not always the cyclists fault. I would say it’s 50/50. Like anything it depends on who’s controlling it. There are some stupid and nasty vehicle drivers out there, the ones who drive too close, never leave enough room when overtaking, pull out on a roundabout when a bike is on it. But the same can be said of cyclists, some of which are so very ignorant, the ones who find it funny to race on the roads not only putting their life at risk but with complete disregard of the what they do to the driver should they get hit. There’s also the idiots who cycle side by side, single file please! Or the ones who are all over the road instead of using the designated cycle path or what’s worse is when they’re on the road and there is a designated off-road cycle path. Either way it really angered me that either vehicle drivers or cyclists could be so stupid to put other people at risk like they were doing. The most assuring thing to see was this one guy who had a helmet camera and had begun policing drivers and cyclists himself, he’d leave them a calling card for them to then see their actions on youtube. Good on him I say.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/i/b01p7q2l/

Work Shy? Benefit Scams? Benefit Squeeze? United Kingdom!
Last but not least has to be what George Osborne has revealed. It majorly sucks that we’re going to have to keep squeezing our belts for another year until 2018 but that’s the way the cookie crumbles. What he said this morning though I couldn’t agree with more. It’s very hard to go out to work 9-5 everyday, do extra jobs etc, get taxed the hell out of, to look across to your neighbour with their feet up claiming every benefit under the sun. What annoys me most is benefits for having children. Fair enough if it’s the standard child allowance but it’s the extras when mum’s then refuse to work more in order to keep getting the benefits. Hello. You chose to have children, care for them yourself. Also this whole job economy; I mean it majorly blows at the moment, I’m being rejected for jobs that won’t even give me an interview but say 10 years ago with the same qualifications I would have been a shoe in. A friend of mine actually left his job because he hated it and has refused to claim jsa as it was his decision to leave. I do believe that if you wanted to work enough you would lower the bar and get any old job. I’m currently stuck in a job which day by day begins to depress me, it’s full time, alright money for just me and yet it’s not white I spent 10 grand at uni to do. That sucks but gold old British spirit means I get up in the morning and I pay my way. This country is too work shy. I just think we really need to start helping ourselves before believing that the government owes us a living. Also the rich are overpaid.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-20621313

RANT over.